” “All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50 cent piece when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece.”Her mother says, “You’re married to a multi-millionaire businessman. You live in an 8 bedroom mansion. You drive a $250,000 Ferrari. You get $2,000 a week allowance. You take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?NOW THAT’S A JEWISH MOTHER!✧ ✧ ✧From dorsetmikeShe says “Why don’t you say you love me anymore?”He replies “I said it once, I’ll let you know if the situation changes.”✧ ✧ ✧This one is from fmwarmacSo I asked my wife, “Why do you keep buying plants when you just kill them?”She said, “To remind you what I’m capable of.”✧ ✧ ✧Last week I bought a brand new boomerang, even though I can’t seem to get rid of the old one.People who put some money away each week just aren’t shopping hard enough.I bought some fridge magnets. So far, I have 10 fridges.A jellyfish walks into a hardware store and buys ten. )Me: “Mala navhta mahit na majhi aai evdhi mothi randi aahe te, and mala aai zhavada banvaycha aahe tila te. Nahi tar kadhich nagda karun zhavla asta.”Mom: “Acha mag evdha divas majhe video baghat hota tar kadla nahi ka tujhi aai kiti mothi randi aahe te, kiti lund chi bhooki aahe te? Samajhlela na tula mi kay kaam kartey te, mag ka evdha vel laavla? Kaa tadpavla?”Me:”Karan tu mala khara nahi sangitla.”Mom: “Kasa saangnar tula k tujha baap majhi aag vijavu shakat navhata, mhanun evdhi varsha bhandana hot hoti, mhanun me tyaala sodhla. Kasa saangitla asta tula majhi hawas chi aag mitvayla mi randi banaycha tharavla aahe.? Tu support kela asta mala ?”Me: ” Ho kela asta ki, asa baher jaaun lokan kade chudnya peksha, mich tula divas ratra zhavla asta. And ajun kona kadhun chudaycha hota tula tar gharich zhavayla dila asta tula mi. Asa baher jaaun risk ghenyaat no point na. Sagli security and privacy maintain karun karu dila asta. Kadhle na mi tumcha video, asa koni ajun kela asta tar?”All.
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